In Memory of Christy Gray (1948-2023)
Every time I entered her cottage I was greeted with a shout of “Big Love” from another room. And though she was a bigger than life person, both in stature and in spirit, she would appear soon, that was before cancer, or call you to come to where she was once cancer was diagnosed and her movements were restricted. Her positive attitude was contagious and even when there were oxygen tubes in her nose and long cords to drag from one room to another, she was effervescent and fully focused on me. Here I was visiting her and she wanted to know what I had been doing. She went into hospice care and even then, her attitude was curiosity as to what might be before her.
Her cottage had an open door with people coming, going and visiting. Located at the edge of a neighborhood, at the end of a road, and off to the side of a big house, with a loop around drive that was perilous to navigate in the rain with the deep holes in the dirt drive. The cottage had no back yard but from the interior windows the view was a deep gully filled with hickory and oak trees, vines and bushes. Inside was a stone fireplace, candles in various containers and holders, lamps in corners and mismatched chairs stuffed with cushions or covered with crocheted blankets. There was always a cat and always a deck of cards on the table in the center of the room where everyone sat to visit. It could be called a living room, but there was life all through the cottage so this was the sitting room. People would stand around the dining room table positioned in the entry way when food was offered to be able to chat with others and to move around. Every surface in the kitchen was covered with containers, pots, glasses, plants in vases, platters, bags of food, can goods, cat food, plates, dish cloths, on and on and on. To put something down in the kitchen, it had to sit on top of something else, or things had to be moved and repositioned. But that room had never been the focus of Christy. Her focus was always on the people in the sitting room.
Christy has spent many years sharing her spiritual world in the Athens community with solstice gatherings, card readings, newsletter information on courses or services being offered by members of this loose but caring community. I was never a devout, I had my own religious upbringing being a Baptist preacher’s kid, but I have always been curious about anything I did not know about and had a father who always encouraged me to ask questions. Christy welcomed me to visit, to experience all the gatherings and she never drew the line about what I should or should not believe—that was up to me.
What I got from Christy was a friend who genuinely showed me that she cared. We had a tea party one afternoon when I introduced a new person to her who had asked to meet Christy. And once during a visit, she told me that I needed to wear gold. She left quickly and returned with a gold scarf from her closet and gave it to me. Each time I wear the scarf, I hear a compliment. Her advice, her enthusiasm for all living creatures, her constant building of community, her rock strong personality—the type of personality where she did not have to go out to seek people, people came to her. All of these made her who she was. Christy was “Big love.”
Christy Gray has been Elder of The Grove Lodges for over 35 years and has taught Shamanic
Journey in the US and United Kingdom since 1989. She also teaches The Blessing Way, a class
in which one learns meaningful rituals and ceremonies for everyday life. As an ordained minister in The Mission of Grace, a Reiki Fellowship, she also performs the sacred ceremonies of weddings, crossing over ceremonies and blessings. Christy has accepted the spiritual path as her calling. Since 1999, she has been the guide/historian for The Mist and The Stone Tours: Wonderful Adventures in The British Isles.
Leara Rhodes 